How Do You Know You've Even Taken a Break?

We talk a lot about the importance of taking breaks — but how do you know when you’ve actually had one?

In this solo episode of Relationships at Work, host Russel Lolacher shares what happened when he took a real pause from creating, producing, and strategizing — not because he stopped caring, but because he cared too much to keep going unsustainably.

Through small grounding habits, reflection, and honest self-checks, Russel explores what it means to step away with intention — and how to return with clarity instead of clutter.

Because a true break isn’t just time away from work — it’s reconnection with who you are outside of it.

If you’ve been feeling the pull to slow down or the guilt that comes with it, this episode is your reminder that rest is leadership.

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Transcript

Welcome back to Relationships At Work – A leadership podcast helping you build workplace connection, improve culture, and avoid blind spots. I’m your host Russel Lolacher

I’m a communications and leadership nerd with a couple of decades of experience and a heap of curiosity on how we can make the workplace better.

This mini-episode is a quick and valuable bit of information to help your mindset for the week ahead.

Inspired by our R@W Note Newsletter, I’m passing on to you…

How do you know you’ve had a real break?

A few weeks ago, I took a pause. A much needed pause. Not the kind where you sneak in a few emails here and there. Not the kind where you prep for your return. A real one - the kind where I stepped away from creating, producing, and strategizing all things Relationships at Work.

It wasn’t easy. I love doing this. I love learning. I love talking with you.

For years, I’d been recording and producing the Relationships at Work podcast. And over the last few months, I’d increased the frequency to daily. Four themed episodes a week, a solo one on Fridays. Plus the R@W Note newsletter, social posts, visuals, editing clips — all on top of a full-time job I also truly love.

And yet, this platform. This Relationships at Work platform started to feel like… work. So I stopped.

Not because I didn’t care, oh GOD no.  but because I cared too much to keep going in a way that wasn’t sustainable. Here’s the thing about taking a real break — it’s not about filling the time differently; it’s about not filling it at all.

I didn’t retreat to a cabin or go offline for weeks. Instead, I gave myself a few small, intentional habits to reconnect with myself. I found a few things to do to help.

• Grounding moments. Not full meditation sessions, just little pauses to breathe and notice my surroundings — the sound of my breath, the weight of my feet on the floor, the quiet hum of life still moving around me. Those few seconds helped me feel present, not productive.
• Daily journaling. I’d jot down whatever surfaced — a thought, a frustration, something I was grateful for. Some days it was a full page; other days, a single line. It was about checking in, not checking boxes.
• Detaching from creation and strategy. This one was hard. I’m wired to build things — frameworks, episodes, plans. But I stopped. No outlines. No analytics. No content calendar. Just space to breathe without turning it into output.

And over time, something started to shift.

I did set a return date of this week. But I was o pen to adjusting if it didn’t feel right. No pressure to come back earlier than that. A firm guideline. Sure some week there was that pull to return — that spark of curiosity creeping back in. But I knew I still needed more time, and I let that be okay.

How did I know I was good to come back?

• I wasn’t so on edge. I felt like I could get angrier easier before.
• I felt The constant hum of urgency quieted down.
• I felt like I could give things their proper weight. Not everything was a “now” issue. Some things could take time — and that was okay.
• I wasn’t rushing. I moved through decisions and conversations more intentionally, without the mental sprint that used to drive everything I did.
• And with that space, I started seeing connections again — between ideas, between people, between what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.

And eventually, I noticed something I hadn’t felt in a while — the genuine desire to create again. Not because I had to post, publish, or stay on schedule… but because I missed the act of sharing ideas and connecting with you. A real break doesn’t erase our responsibilities. It redefines our relationship to them.

It’s when you come back with clarity, not clutter. When you can step into your work with steadier energy and a lighter grip.

As leaders, we talk so much about performance, productivity, and purpose — but we often forget that compassion, rest, and kindness are the glue of that equation. If we never step away, how do we expect to return with perspective?

My pause reminded me that leadership isn’t just about showing up. It’s about knowing when and how to show up for ourselves.

The Question - How do you know you’ve had a real break from work?

Here are three ways to tell:

1. You feel presence again. You can sit in a moment — with your partner, your coffee, your colleagues, your teams, your thoughts — and not immediately drift to your inbox.
2. You don’t dread returning. The idea of getting back to work doesn’t tighten your chest. It excites you, or at least feels possible.
3. You remember who you are outside of work. Your conversations, hobbies, and energy aren’t defined by your job. You’ve reconnected with your life, not just your workload.

A real break isn’t time away — it’s a reclamation of identity. It’s when you stop existing only as the person who works, and remember the person who lives. 

And that, to me, is what sustainable leadership actually looks like.