Reputation Starts with You: Self-Awareness in Leadership

This is part 2 of a 4-part series on reputation management with Charlotte Otter, author of We Need New Leaders. Each episode explores a different theme—clarity, self-awareness, team dynamics, and workplace culture.

Before you manage your reputation—know yourself. In this episode, Russel Lolacher and Charlotte Otter explore how self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and personal responsibility form the foundation of a strong leadership reputation. Drawing from Charlotte’s work with executive clients and her book We Need New Leaders, they discuss why personal brand, inner work, and behavioral alignment are essential for leadership growth.

✅ Why self-audit is difficult but necessary
 ✅ The impact of therapy, coaching, and lived experience
 ✅ How triggers and empathy shape leadership reputation
 ✅ What personal brand has to do with your career

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Transcript

Russel Lolacher: Now that self-awareness piece has to be super integral to reputation management because you don't know what you don't know and you have to be aware of it to even manage it because I'm guessing this is not something you can outsource or delegate going can you manage my reputation for me? I mean, to some point there is because we have PR firms when it gets to that level, but we don't have PR firms internally in the organization.

So how do we recognize when our actions are not in alignment with the reputation that we want?

Charlotte Otter: Yeah, I'll push back slightly on we don't have PR firms in the organization, so I ran executive communications at SAP and we were like an internal PR firm, so we took responsibility for each of the board members and the CEO, and we would work very closely with them on what are your messages? And as an individual, how do those messages match the company messages? Where are your audiences and how good are you at disseminating those messages? And if there are gaps, what do we need to fix?

Russel Lolacher: But doesn't that take away, and I totally hear what you're saying and I know organizations that absolutely do that because there's some horrible executives that you never know are horrible because they've been rubber roomed.

Charlotte Otter: Massaged.

Russel Lolacher: Absolutely. Where's the accountability in that though?

Charlotte Otter: Yeah. I mean, the accountability for them comes with critiques on LinkedIn. They post something and somebody pushes back. I mean, it's quite hard to get away with it now. It's quite hard. Or Glassdoor, or, you know, the accountability does come.

Russel Lolacher: It's almost like you hope their internal PR firm isn't too great, isn't too good at their jobs because that CEO or whatever could be poisoning the organization with their one-on-one conversations. And we don't know. And you know, because it's being kept silent and I'm, again, this is a generalization, but there are many executives who are not leaders and who have never been told or trained properly that they may need to correct their behaviors. And we are going into extreme levels here, but there could be just cutting people off in meetings or like, there could be these little things that just pick away at someone's reputation that, yeah.

So I just I feel like I, I totally get it from one side and the other side. I'm like, could they come take some responsibility themselves for their own reputation, because that's a leader to me.

Charlotte Otter: Yeah, for sure. And now in my work with clients as a, as an independent consultant I don't like to ghost write. I don't like to do polished images anymore. I would much prefer to empower somebody in how to show up as their best possible self, because to me that's much more authentic. And I like authenticity.

I wanna see the real person. I don't want to see that polished, perfect exterior.

Russel Lolacher: I am, you can't see this right now, but I'm doing a slow clap to that. I hate ghost writing. I get being too busy. But at the same time, we can't say authentic in one sentence and then go, could you write this for me, I'll just proofread it afterwards in the next. It is hypocritical to say the least. So thank you for saying that's again, also as a communications nerd, I'm like, you can't hire somebody else to build relationships for you.

You have to do that yourselves.

Charlotte Otter: Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

Russel Lolacher: So leaders in an organization, what are you telling them that they need to focus on? Personal habits, practices, developing, enhancing to make sure that they have a handle on their reputation. What personal work do they might need to do?

Charlotte Otter: Yeah, it's really about for good leaders. Not the bad type we've just been talking about. It's really about good self knowledge. The leaders who I interviewed for my book, who are emerging or established leaders from diverse identities and backgrounds have done the work. It's often because they've faced obstacles.

So one of my interviewees was a CEO as a man, and now is a trans woman and a board member. And she was able to compare and contrast what it was like leading organizations as a man, how easy it was when she gave instructions, and how much harder it is now as a woman. So what I'm saying is she went through massive obstacles to get where she is today.

So she has beautiful self-knowledge. So I'm seeing that a lot. People have had therapy, they've done coaching, they've done the work, they understand themselves, they know what their triggers are. That's the first part. Those people lead with empathy because of the obstacles they've been through and they are inclusive in the way that they lead, but not inclusive in it's all, you know, flowers and meadows and candy floss and holding hands and skipping.

It's inclusive in that we can disagree and have uncomfortable conversations because we have already built the trust in the psychological safety in my organization. Because as I said at the top, you don't get innovation and creativity in organizations if you aren't having those really honest, really open conversations.

So those leaders do the work on themselves, understand their triggers, are lead with empathy, and then build psychological safety and trust in order to innovate and in order to be creative and in order to lead successful organizations.

Russel Lolacher: What's really highlighted for me in that is that reputation management is far more about preparation, not reaction. So to that point, if say a leader in an organization does a misstep, and I just mean like everyday day-to-day operations said the wrong thing to the wrong group, and sort of fractured the reputation that they'd already been building.

How do they recover from that? If they're, you know, really working on their self-awareness they're really prioritizing this. How did they adjust? Or do they, to your point, if they've got all that psychological safety work, it'll just work out itself?

Charlotte Otter: No, they need to address it. So they need to take that team aside. They need to take that team aside and go guys. I misspoke. I'm really sorry. I felt so uncomfortable when I got home that night. You know, my partner told me I was an idiot and I'm here to say I am open to you showing me the way. And next time I do something like that, call me out in the moment.

Act. Act with vulnerability. You know, Brene Brown, vulnerability as strength.

Russel Lolacher: What's come up a lot for me in a lot of the conversations I've had is the importance of, as a leader, you're part of the team, you're not an other of the team. And that a lot of leaders are very lonely in the sense that I am responsible for this team. And it's almost like put on a shelf over there. I need to make sure that's the most productive, happy group possible without including themselves in it. So I love the fact that you're like, if you have a problem, A- don't wait too long to address it. 'cause it's not something you come back six months later going, Hey, remember that time I was an idiot in that meeting? Yeah, nobody remembers. They just hate you now. However, it's really important. I love that you're talking about like, no, that is your community. That is where you can rely on and your resource to be better as opposed to, oh, it's just something. I'm trying not to break every day.

Charlotte Otter: Yeah, I love it too. And I, you know, who doesn't want to be led by a leader like that? You know, I've been led by those people who sit on the pinnacle. And occasionally turn up and give some instructions. But I mean, work employees are burnt out, people are exhausted. Work isn't working, people are miserable, and the onus is on leaders to make it better by creating these inclusive cultures that innovate and succeed.

Russel Lolacher: What do you feel are some self blind spots that we might have when it comes to understanding or improving our own reputations?

Charlotte Otter: That's a good question. I think, I think leaders really do need to ask for feedback, and that goes back to the creative abrasion and encouraging debate and discussion. And don't react when people give you feedback. Don't freak out and start self-justifying. Just say thank you and take it away and let it sit and see what happens.

One of my interviewees is a black woman in the UK and she talked about how she deals with microaggressions

She says she doesn't shame people, but she very quietly organizes a one-on-one with that person and just asks them why they said the thing they said, and then explains to them how it might be received by people who are from another community or another background.

You don't ever need to shame people. I think shaming is the worst thing a leader can do. If you've got something to say that you think might be difficult or you want to hear something as a leader, you want some feedback, do it. Do it quietly. Do it with directly with that person.