Are Your Values Still Yours? A Leadership Gut Check

You’ve defined your values. But are you still living them — or just assuming you are?

In this episode of Relationships at Work, we unpack the overlooked side of values in leadership. Not the usual “define your top five” — but the deeper, messier question of alignment. Are your values still showing up in how you lead, decide, and interact? Or have they quietly drifted out of sync with your environment… and yourself?

This episode explores how to test your values at work, why misalignment sneaks up on us, and how self-awareness and situational awareness play a critical role in staying grounded as a leader. Because living out of sync with your values doesn’t just affect you — it erodes trust, clarity, and the culture you’re trying to build.

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Transcript

Welcome back to Relationships At Work – Your guide to building workplace connections and avoiding leadership blind spots..  I’m your host Russel Lolacher

I’m a communications and leadership nerd with a couple of decades of experience and a heap of curiosity on how we can make the workplace better. If you’re a leader trying to understand and improve your impact on work culture and the employee experience, you’re in the right place.

This mini-episode is a quick and valuable bit of information to help your mindset for the week ahead. 

Inspired by our R@W Note Newsletter, I’m passing on to you… 

Take YourSelf for a Spin and Test Drive Your Values  

So… what are your values?

Odds are, you’ve been asked that question before. Probably during some kind of leadership training or workshop — maybe even early in your career. And you probably walked away with a list:
 Family. Integrity. Respect. Growth. Accountability. Empathy. Kindness.

Some version of that.

And hey — great. That exercise is important.
 It gives us a sense of what matters to us at a personal level — what we hold tight when we make decisions, when we lead others, when we show up to work each day.

But here’s the problem — most of us never revisit them.
 We define our values once… and then never ask the follow-up question:
 Are they still showing up in how I work? Or have I just assumed they are?

Today, we’re talking about values. But not in the usual "define them" kind of way.
 This is about testing the values you've already defined — and how to know when they’re aligned… or when they’re being challenged, dismissed, or slowly chipped away at.

Because values, like people, evolve.
 And if we're not paying attention, we might be living out of sync with our own integrity — without even realizing it.

Let’s start here:

One of the biggest superpowers a leader can have is self-awareness.
 The other? Situational awareness.

Knowing yourself, and knowing how you show up in the environment you’re part of.
 And values sit at the heart of both.

Self-awareness is knowing what you value — what you stand for.
 Situational awareness is understanding how those values interact with the people around you, the culture you're part of, and how others' values show up alongside yours.

But we run into a problem when we start assuming.

We assume our values haven’t changed.
 We assume the organization’s values haven’t changed.
 We assume that the alignment we felt five years ago is still there now.

But life happens.
 We experience new things. We grow. Our circumstances change.

And unless we stop to check, we don’t always notice when we’ve drifted — or when the culture around us has.

So, how do you actually test your values at work?

Let me walk you through a few checkpoints. Not a checklist — just places to pause and reflect.

First: Reassess the actions, not just the statements

It’s easy to look at the company website, or the office wall, or the internal newsletter, and see a list of values.
 They all sound great: Trust. Collaboration. Innovation. Inclusion.

But values aren’t what an organization says.
 They’re what it does.

Look at how decisions are made.
 Look at how employees are treated — especially in moments of tension or stress.
 Look at how your organization interacts with its customers, partners, and the people it says it serves.

If the actions don’t reflect the words — that’s a sign.
 Not just of misalignment in the company… but possibly, misalignment with you.

Second: Reassess your emotional and moral responses to key decisions

This is where self-awareness really matters.

How do you feel when your organization makes a decision on a tough issue?
 Something around leadership behavior… diversity and inclusion… sustainability… ethics?

If you’re frustrated, conflicted, or uncomfortable — that’s not just “bad vibes.” That’s your values tapping you on the shoulder.

The bigger the discomfort, the bigger the potential disconnect.

We like to believe we're rational creatures. But when it comes to values, we often feel the misalignment before we can articulate it.
Trust that instinct. Examine it.

Third: Notice When You’re Asked to Compromise

Values are most visible when they’re under pressure — and often, that pressure shows up as compromise. Think about how your organization handled tough situations like Covid, return-to-office demands, layoffs, or public crises. But instead of only watching what leadership did, ask: Were you asked to go along with something that didn’t feel right? Did you stay quiet to keep the peace? Did you lead a decision that made you uncomfortable?

This isn’t about blame — it’s about recognition. Because when your values are in alignment, those tough situations might still be challenging, but they won’t feel like you’re betraying yourself. Misalignment shows up when you're repeatedly asked to make trade-offs that conflict with your sense of fairness, integrity, or accountability — and you walk away from those moments feeling unsettled.

So… what if your values don’t align anymore?

Here’s where it gets personal.

That misalignment doesn’t automatically mean it’s time to quit or walk away.
 But it does mean it’s time to ask some serious questions:

• Is this a systemic issue, or the result of a few individuals?
• Is there space to talk about it — with HR, your manager, your peers?
• Is this just a bad season, or is it the culture now?
• Are there allies who share your values — and want to do something about it?
• Can you live with this misalignment… or is it compromising your integrity?
• And the big one — should you stay or go?

These questions aren’t about being dramatic.
 They’re about being honest.

Because the longer we stay in places that don’t reflect what we stand for, the more we lose ourselves.
 And the more we lose the trust of those we lead.

Leadership is about showing up with clarity. And that clarity starts with asking,
 “Do my values still belong here?”

So maybe today’s the day to take your values down off the shelf.
 Hold them up.
 Look around.
 And ask: Am I aligned… or have I just been assuming I am?