Knowing Our Strengths and Weaknesses Changes Everything w/ Anna Nelson

In this episode of Relationships at Work, Russel chats with strengths and development coach Anna Nelson on the importance of knowing our leadership strengths and weakness and its benefit to our teams.

Anna shares her thoughts and insights on...

• Strengths are what energize you, not just what you're good at.
• We can learn skills, but that doesn't make them strengths.
• Recognizing strengths and weaknesses helps navigate career growth.
• Weaknesses aren't just what you're bad at, they also drain you.
• Self-awareness is key, but often overlooked.
• Communicating strengths is about business impact, not personal preference.

 

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Transcript

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Russel Lolacher: And on the show today, we have Anna Nelson and here is why she is awesome. She's the founder and professional and personal development coach through her consultancy, anna Nelson LLC. Probably a good thing that it's named after her. As an ICF, ACC and Gallup certified strength coach. She works to help executives, business owners, and early to mid career professionals unlock their hidden strengths and move forward.

And we're going to be talking a lot about the strengths and the weaknesses today. Hello, Anna.

Anna Nelson: Hello, Russel. Nice to be here.

Russel Lolacher: I'm thrilled to have you here. I'm always super curious about discovering our strengths and what we do with our weaknesses. I think that's probably one of the bigger questions I have, but before we get to any of that, Anna, I have to ask you the question I ask all of my guests, which is what is your best or worst employee experience?

Anna Nelson: Okay. Well, there are so many answers I could give, but I think, one of the first, best, most formative work experiences I ever had was when I was 22, fresh out of college. I just started my first fancy job working in Boston in financial services. And I was so young and naive, but the gentleman who hired me, his name is Eric and he was so kind and, and the first day I showed up to work, like he bought flowers and headed on my desk and was very like, Anna, we're so glad you're here and very welcoming. And over the six years that I worked there. He was one of the very few people who would appreciate or take the time to tell me, Anna, you are so good with the clients.

I've really noticed how much, how well they respond to you. And that's so helpful in our industry. And he would talk to me like I was his equal. Like he was worth millions of dollars and I was worth less than 28, 000 a year at the time and he treated me like I was an equal and he would talk to me like, yeah, you understand these things, right? And so he was just really great. And he was also really great about being like, well, what would you like to do? Or I know you'd probably don't want to be an administrative assistant for the rest of your life, so. He paid for me to go to New York City to go through this program all about figuring out your life goals and dreams, and he was just really supportive of me as a person, and I just really appreciated that. Which meant I was really loyal to him and, and, and the other people I worked with, but that was my best work experience where it's like, how did this older wise, wealthy, which sometimes you think wealthy people are nicer people, but that's not always the case or nice people, but that's not always the case.

And they paid for my MBA at the time. So that was interesting. Like he was just, he paid attention to the person. And, and I really appreciated that because there are so many jobs where you're just a worker. They don't actually care about you as a person.

Russel Lolacher: So how did that ruin you, Anna? Because I mean, you, you mentioned that this was one of your earliest jobs. I'm sure we've all learned that that is not the norm. It's more of the exception when it comes to that kind of leadership. So what did you take from that into the rest of your career?

Anna Nelson: I think one, I knew how fortunate I was to work with people and he wasn't the only one. There were other really great people in that particular group. And I probably stayed in that position longer than maybe I should have because the people were so awesome. And I kind of knew you don't always get the greatest people.

And so... but I think it was also like, it is possible to work for great people. So it is possible, but also it's highly disappointing when you end up at other companies where you're like, Oh my word, they don't even care about me at all. So, it's definitely a positive and a negative in terms of what is possible, but also what the usual reality reality is.

Russel Lolacher: You bring up a really interesting point that I don't think people talk about enough because there's this conversation or, or at least this, I don't know, a scientific study. Sure. Let's go with that. Is that the best way you can advance your career is to move every two years. Is that you will not get a raise, you will not get a promotion unless you move and they have to negotiate salaries. So you automatically, you will get more money. However, because the workplace is not as beautiful and amazing generally, as we'd like it, we tend to stay in jobs where we know it's great because of the people we get to work with and the work we get to do.

However, by doing that, we're sometimes punishing our career because we're not moving on. We're not looking for the advancement. So we're not making it financially successful, but we are realizing this is rare. This doesn't happen often. So we're sort of redefining, redefining our success in those moments because success is happy, healthy... fun. in an environment we like versus I'm not being rewarded financially for it. I find that really interesting.

Anna Nelson: Mm-hmm I know that. And that was tricky, which I, what, what I loved about Eric is he saw okay, she isn't just an admin. I wasn't just answering the phones. And what I brought, which is funny, that we're talking about strengths and weaknesses, is that my strength was the one-on-one client connection. And so pretty early on.

It was like, okay, some of the people who are managing the money, they are, their strengths are elsewhere. Right. But I was really good with the client side. If you were a client and you emailed me and you were like, can I take a meeting with the managing director, I would make sure that meeting happened.

Because clients wouldn't ever get a response from the, managing director because that wasn't that person's skill set. Right? And so it was like, that's what I brought to the table. But also in the job description, I started out as an admin. So it was harder, bigger company culture wise to be like, No, she's more than just an admin. She should actually be a client person. But then you had other people who are partners who are like, Oh, we should be talking to the clients. Why is she doing it? She's like 25. And, and it was like this weird balance. And I wish I could go back in time. Cause I'm so much more confident now where I could be like, and I could be a better advocate for myself to be like, no, I know what Russel wants.

I've talked to him on the phone. This is what he says. And also because I am so good, I'd be able to quantify my relationship building strengths in a way that would make sense to be like, well, he invested 5 million with us and so that was because of my relationship. So therefore I think I should be worth X amount of dollars.

Russel Lolacher: Fair. And I've done the same thing. I'm like, Oh man, if I was a bartender now, I'd be amazing at it. But no, no, I'm too old for that. So let's get into strength and weaknesses. And one of the things that I, I need to do on this show, it certainly became pretty clear over the episodes is defining things. And that's sort of become a staple for the show.

So before we get anywhere, maybe we should define what we're talking about when we talk about these are your strengths and these are your weaknesses. What do we mean?

Anna Nelson: So as you mentioned at the top of the, of our conversation, I'm a Gallup certified strengths coach. And I love it because I already helped people figure out what they were good at before, but what that certification gave me was a, different lingo to have shared lingo that I could have with my clients one on one. And so a strength is something that you do so naturally so well, it brings you joy and energy you can't even help doing it.

That's your strength. So if I met you somewhere and I was like, oh my god, like I can just open up my mouth and most of the time I will have an amazing conversation with someone. Obviously not all of the time because sometimes i'm on a plane and I don't want to talk to people but generally if I, if you're the type of person where i'm like, okay There's something going on there. I can have a make a quick connection and talk to that person and they leave better than maybe they felt before. I naturally do that. A weakness is more what are you not capable of doing consistently? Well all of the time I am not I always have a goal of I'm going to post on LinkedIn three times a week. I have calendars printed up on my wall and I've done it like one time over three months, so I'm not consistent, but some people, they are like right on the right on the line, 9am posting on LinkedIn. And so that's kind of a weakness. So it's more paying attention to like in my administrative job. I was consistently good at talking to the clients.

If you looked at my desk, I had piles of papers that should have been filed, but I never filed them until the auditors came by and it was like, where's this paper? I'm like, it's over here in this folder.

Russel Lolacher: Do you get that granular though? I mean, you were using LinkedIn posts as an example and I get it, but that's sort of like a task. Wouldn't it be more about time management? Wouldn't it be more like, do we, and maybe I'm wrong. Is it that granular? Are we talking at like more like you are great at talking to people.

You are great at presentations as opposed to eye contact. Yeah.

Anna Nelson: It can get, oh yeah, it can get granular. And that's what I love about it. It's because it's like, all right, Russel, this is what you are really good at and getting granular. So then you can get really tied into, what someone is really good at and then you can get kind of more niche in so like I don't just talk to anybody like my clientele or as an adult, like I like to work with people who have goals and dreams and might get a little bit stuck and I'm like, okay, this is how you can get unstuck.

That's kind of my area. I'm not working with people who are recovering from addictions, for example, or in recovery or people in a hospital. That's there are differences. And so you can get. granular, but it kind of depends on what someone's goals are in their life. But like a lot of times, I think people think, Oh, you just have to keep working really hard and you'll get better. And it is true. I could get better at learning how to do an Excel spreadsheet. I'm not going to think about it in a way that someone else who is wired to be like, okay, this is what Excel can do. And this is how I can see this formula really working. And they can just totally see it in their mind. And I'm just like, I don't, I'm just going to enter data in this one cell and hope for the best.

Russel Lolacher: I've met people, I've worked with people that are, they're good at things they don't like to do. So is that a strength? Is that a weakness? If, because based on your definition, it's about consistency. It's about something they like doing. So even if it's something they really, really sorry, if it's something they really, really hate, but they're great at it, you wouldn't define that as a strength?

Anna Nelson: No, no. Cause I could be really good at, I don't know. Now I, no, cause that's like a learned you cause you can learn things. We can all learn things, right? We all have. As an admin, I had to learn how to manage a calendar, but I ultimately ended up doing it in a way that worked for me. And even I was a project manager at a marketing firm for seven years.

And at one point my boss was like, maybe we should learn how to use a Gantt chart for, for a calendar. for managing the projects. And I just thought I, and I Googled Gantt chart. I'm like, what in the world, how would I use this? I have no idea. I would literally just print off the calendar from my Mac and print that up.

I put my deadlines in place and that's what I would carry around to meetings all the time. And that's what I referred to. My paper calendar. That's how I manage projects. And I did a great job, but I managed the projects by getting to know the people who I needed to help me get the project done. That's how I got my projects done.

I was not like, let's look at the systems and processes and let's do all of this stuff. That's not how I managed it. I did it. Hey, Dave, you're going to be responsible for this. Do you think this is possible? Let me know what you think. Then I'd go to the next person. Jamie, what do you think about this? Do you think this is possible?

And then they'd get behind it. I'm like, all right, guys, deadline is December 31st. Let's go. So you can get good at things that you're not naturally wired to be good at, but I don't think that you love what you're doing as much and it's kind of like after a while it's what am I doing? This is, doesn't feel good to me.

Russel Lolacher: So why should you care? Why should anyone who's looking to figure out what their strengths or weaknesses, need to know that information?

Anna Nelson: So, because you know how to narrow down your options. Cause if you think about in the workplace, there are so many jobs, there are so many roles, there are so many companies who have big goals. So it's like, where would you best fit in? So now if I'm interviewing at your company and you're looking for, let's say a customer service rep. I should know that I love talking to people and I don't care if they're angry, they're sad, they're, they're whatever, you want someone who loves talking to people and who helps them get what they want. Now, that person is going to represent you. So if you don't like talking to people, That's great because I do love talking to people.

So if I, if we both know what the goal of your company is and you're like, my goal is to let's pretend have 500 customers and you sell chicken nuggets or something, I don't know, this is such a bad example, but as the business owner or the team lead, whatever, I don't like talking to customers, but I need someone who does.

Then you want to have someone plug in who knows that. But if I'm looking for a different job, I should know this is what I bring to the table. Cause now I can sell you on why I would be great in your company. I love talking to people. I love solving problems for them. I love making them happy. And also I love what your company stands for.

And I cannot wait to work for you.

Russel Lolacher: So with the weaknesses, you're just avoiding any job really that navigates toward that. I assume.

Anna Nelson: Yeah, so in my own business and this is where like knowing what you're good at. I love talking to people right that's like that. I love hanging out with people. I love talking to people. Anything that isn't that... so if I I created a new landing page yesterday on my on ConvertKit for my email system. It was like a nightmare and I I was like you have to get this done by the end of the day. That is your goal today.

So if I know that I tend to want to talk to people, but I have to do a task that I don't like doing, then it, then I know you're doing a task you don't like doing. You're not naturally wired to be like, let's create this landing page. Like I don't care about a landing page, but I know I need it. So I'll do it.

And when I get rich enough, I can hire that out to someone, but at least I know why I don't like doing it. Just like filing papers back when I was 22. I don't, because you don't get to talk to people or hear how they're doing or... okay, that's why you don't like this task right now. So you know why you start procrastinating basically.

Russel Lolacher: Why don't we naturally know this about ourselves? Cause obviously, I mean, I've taken Strength Finder. I've taken a few of these courses too, but I mean, I thought I knew myself pretty well, but what gets in the way of us knowing these things because obviously we have to take these courses or we should take these courses in certain situations to get our self awareness a little stronger.

So yeah, I'm just kind of curious as to why this doesn't happen naturally and what gets in our own way?

Anna Nelson: I think there are a number of factors one I don't I think it's pretty rare when people say Oh my gosh, Russel, you're really good at this. Like my boss paying attention and be like, Anna, you are really good with the clients. I had never had anyone say that to me before. I've had people say, you're a great friend, but no one ever said, wow, you should go into something that requires you to talk to people.

So. And I think we idolize, so to speak, certain skills and strengths. And so like people who are good at math, people who are good at numbers, if you're a doctor or a lawyer, those are growing up, that was like doctor, lawyer. And it's well, I don't want to do any of those. I just want to help people reach their goals.

So does that mean I'm less than? So I, and then I think comparison to, it's like, Ooh, well, if you get this job, you'll make 500, 000. Versus if you're this job, you only make 50, 000. And so I think you've just look out outside versus like actually what how could this monetarily be useful to someone. And so in high school and I think you know so many things like so many people are like follow your passion or do what you love and it's like My passion is reading a book on the beach, but I can't really make money off of that unless I'm like, hey, I'm a book blogger and I'm talking about this book, let's say, and I don't want to do that.

So it's more what is your tendency? And that is like an indicator of this is what you're naturally wired to do. But I think then there's so much more nuance that we don't ever stop to pay attention to and ask ourselves questions about.

Russel Lolacher: So how do we go about doing this? So I'm, I'm not asking for the full process here, but at least the first couple of steps because if we're sitting here in our work life and just trying to figure out what our next steps are. I've often said on the show that self awareness is one of the biggest superpowers any leader can have.

And this has to fall within the DNA of that. So where do we start in that process? Other than just, I'm going to hire a consultant. I'm going to sign up to strength finder. I'm going to sign up to Gallup. Yeah, sure. But what is the process to at least start down that path?

Anna Nelson: I think the key is, is really getting like being honest with yourself. So if I had to go back, I think it's take a position, take any position that you've ever had and write down the things that you're like, this is the part of that job that I loved, absolutely loved doing. And you write all of those things and then go on to another piece of paper What are the aspects that you absolutely did not like doing?

And start to see if there are opposites in there because usually there are. And then start looking at okay, how can you pull a thread through all of the things on your I love list to see okay what kind of career or role would embody all of that and it's just paying, it's paying attention and being honest.

Yeah, I can figure out how to file papers, but I really don't want to file papers. I don't want to be by myself in the filing room like... But I also don't want to just like, and it's paying attention to just because I talk to people, does it mean, oh, I just am like a Oh, Hey, how's it going?

Right? There are, it's paying attention to what about those conversations did I really like doing? If a client called and all they wanted was a fax number, I loved helping them get that fax number cause it helped get them what they wanted. So yeah, I think paying attention and just writing those questions.

And this is what I start off with even my clients. It's literally the opening thing. What do you love? What do you hate, personally or professionally? Literally, that is the, those are the first two questions. And the, actually the first question is, what do you want? What are you hoping to get out of this?

I want to get a new job. I want to go for that promotion. I want to figure out what, whether I should go to grad school or not. All right, that's what you want. Okay. Now we're gonna still figure out what do you love? What do you hate? And now let's pull that through and see the threads.

Russel Lolacher: How do we differentiate between a strength and a developed skill? You kind of mentioned it earlier that you can learn to do these things, but does that make it a strength or does that just make it something that you had to learn over time to get better at? And does it matter if we have to differentiate that or not?

Anna Nelson: I think yes and no depending on whether how you use it. So in my journey to figure out what I was good at and what I loved doing before I appreciated that the ability to connect one on one with people was actually And I could build a career out of it. I thought I want, I wanted to have my own clothing company.

And so I grew up sewing and I thought, okay, I'm going to have a little clothing company. And 10 years ago I went and became a certified professional bra maker. So I know how to make custom lingerie for people. And I created a little business out of it. While I was in my program, so I knew I learned how to make a pattern. No, I know how to sew and assemble things.

I worked really hard at understanding these things. In the program that I was at I shared this like a little table area in the program with this other woman who could take the most ugly piece of fabric and without even a pattern, create the most amazing bra you have ever seen in your life and you were like, how did you do it?

And then I'd be like, so what, what does your pattern look like? And she just had a line on a piece of paper. Just a line. She just whipped it out And so that is it I learned how to do this I spent a lot of money learning how to draft a pattern, measure. I can do it She just took it and went ran away with it.

Like I would put I would invest in her company. I wouldn't invest in mine, so. And it wasn't fun ultimately. And so realizing I learned it. So again, that longterm, like over the long period, you'll be like, I don't think that this is it. Like people who say, Oh, I'm going to go to law school. And then after a while, they're like, this really is not what I want to do.

You can learn it, but that isn't going to necessarily bring you joy.

Russel Lolacher: And hopefully you don't spend those hundreds of thousands of dollars to learn that after law school. So let's flip it to the other side and into weaknesses. Because this is, and I love that you brought up the importance of being honest with ourselves because strengths, we tend to, we can be a little more honest. Weaknesses on the other hand, seem to be a little bit harder for us to come to, to come to a realization or come, to come to honesty here.

So what are some common blind spots you've seen that leaders face when it comes to recognizing their blind spots and, and anything we can do to avoid that?

Anna Nelson: So that, so I think a lot of times people don't understand that it's that cliche. Our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. So the blind spot I think is one, not understanding what your strengths are. And when, at what point do they start turning into weaknesses? So I have worked with lots of managers and leaders of teams.

And they have, if we talk about in the strengths lingo, they, they're high, they're achievers, they love to get things done. They have a super high stamina for just putting in all of those work hours. They're like, all right, let's, they're just pushing their team. And sometimes they're like, why is my team quote lazy?

And it's they're not wired like you. So then it's let's first figure out what are you trying to achieve? And do you even need to achieve that thing or all of the other things that you think you need to achieve? So now, if you understand, okay, I need to take 10 of these things off of my list, but these three big ones are the things that we're aiming for.

Now you're learning to channel your strength well to the highest and best possible use of that particular strength and what you bring to the table. And so, one of my strengths, my number one strength is maximizer. And I, I love to take good things and make them better. People, you're already great. I don't see anyone as a problem, but let's get you to the next level. In my personal life I contend towards being more discontent than satisfied because to me i'm always like this could be so much better. Oh my gosh, this could be better.

Why didn't we do this that restaurant? It could have served their food on a prettier plate So it's always I have to learn to be like, I loved being in this room right here with these people and it's fine that It could be better, but it's totally fine for right now. So like good enough is actually something I've had to learn.

Russel Lolacher: You said something there. And I just want to, maybe I misheard, but is it different based on your work life and your personal life when it comes to strengths and weaknesses? Is there a shift or, cause I mean, I think values and truthfully, when I think values, I hate when people talk about their values are different at home than they are at work.

I'm like, so you're two different people? Like suddenly your values about family are important, but as soon as you walk through a door or turn on a computer, your family doesn't matter anymore. That makes no sense. But are our strengths and weaknesses different?

Anna Nelson: I think sometimes it's easier to do what you're really good at in the work environment cause now you're like, Oh, this is what I'm doing. And I think it's harder sometimes in our personal lives to still be the best possible version of herself while also loving people who are most likely opposite of us And you're with them all the time or like at work It's easy to be like this is the goal that we're working towards But at home there might not be goals per se that are written out like we are here well, this family will accomplish these 20 things and it's no dad, I don't want to accomplish that so Work gives us structure to kind of plug in, plug and play, so to speak. Personal life, it's like you, you create your own structure. And I think. Like in my personal life, I can feel really lonely a lot of time. Like I live on a development of like in a housing development that was built on cornfields because I met and married my husband during COVID.

And now I live in this suburb of a suburb of a suburb of a suburb of Minneapolis. And I feel alone most of the time. And so I've had to learn, I'm not alone. I'm just not with anyone right now. And so managing that and then being grateful when I get to talk to people like, Hey, Russel, how's it going today?

So I think it's just recognizing, okay, I'm not at work right now. I don't need to achieve all of the things. It's work life balance, but still you can design your personal life around your strengths. So maybe you're not going to achieve 30 things at home, but maybe there's a race that you want to work towards and be like, that's the goal that I'm going to quote 'achieve' in my personal life, or I'm going to achieve fixing the garage door opener or something like it kind of, it gets channeled differently at home.

Russel Lolacher: It also sounds like a reframing exercise a little bit is it we're looking at, it's not that it's different it's just different context in, in how it's applied, how it's used, how it's not used. When it comes to the difference between work and life, cause you're not a different person. You're just, it's a different ecosystem. It's a different relationships. And that has a lot of influence on everything. So before I get into relationships, cause hey, it's the name of the damn show. Okay. I want to ask do we shift weaknesses or do we just go, nope, that's a weakness. Leave it alone. Do we look to take our weaknesses and try to get better at them? So we're at least mediocre because they'll never really be strengths because that I assume is a really a lot of time and a lot of mental effort. But, we can work to at least make them not horrible weaknesses. Or should we just double down on our strengths and go, you know what? A weakness is a weakness. Let it be a weakness.

Anna Nelson: I think there's more leaning towards double down on your strength, but also, and I feel like the weakness is a two part. So if I know I like to make good things and take them better and I the weakness then becomes oh, i'm always discontent, let's say. I need to figure out how to channel that So i'm either at neutral and things are fine for right now or ooh chance to work with a client, I get to make them better, or ooh, the opportunity at home to make this thing better.

Okay, great. But then there's the other part where it's like those skill set that we are not good at. So you wouldn't want me to be in charge of your social media, let's say. Say and expect me to put something out every single day at 9 a. m. That would just kill me. And I'd be so depressed. To do lists. I hate to do lists.

I hate them so much. And so, but some people love them. They live for them. They create them. They dream about them. Right? And so it's just learning to be like. All right, I am an adult. I do have tasks that need to get done so be an adult and do the task and know that i'm not going to love it. So there's an element of focus on what you are good at, lean into that, and then we all have to pay taxes. Nobody likes doing taxes So you are going to have to figure out how to get by and do some of the things that you don't like doing.

Russel Lolacher: So let's pull it away from the self and look at the larger situation. So if I'm at work and I know my strengths and weaknesses, how would you recommend leaders get better at recognizing this? Because on one side, I'm thinking we're just doubling down on diversity. Because everybody's different in how they have their strengths and how they have their weaknesses.

There's neurodivergence, there's introverts, there's extroverts, there different cultures tend to be leaning on these things. But say I'm the leader and I've got a team of all these strengths and weaknesses. What would you like a leader to be doing in these situations to raise their own situational awareness and take advantage of this knowledge?

Anna Nelson: I would ask them, Hey What do you love doing? So the love hate thing So if you were my boss, or let's pretend I was your boss, I would take you aside and just be like, Hey Russel, I'm really trying to get to know my team better. And I would love to know, tell me about your job. What are the things that you absolutely love doing in this role?

And what are some things that you actually don't care to do? And then go ask if there are like five other people on the team, ask them the same thing. And it'll be, it'd be interesting because some people will say the opposite of what someone else said. So then it's okay, do I need to do some restruct, light restructuring of roles and responsibilities?

And just, and maybe then it's like rearranging things, take some things off of your plate cause you don't like it. But this person over here loves it. Then all of a sudden now everyone, and talk about it even as a team to be like, okay. This is what we all have. This, these are the tools. Each of us is a tool, but in a positive way and it's this is what we each bring to the table.

And now let's see how we are now interdependent versus working independently on our weird other things, because like the people who identify as Introverts are usually the ones who are really good with ideas. They love strategically thinking. They love having deep relationships with people. So those are the people where it's are they able to form deep relationships with people because that might be like the internal team of people. And then I would be the great salesperson or the great customer service person cause I love talking to people. It doesn't matter who they are. I don't mind talking to strangers. All right, let's have these two people be separate then don't have your introvert be the customer service person.

Russel Lolacher: So if you're a team member and you're learning your strengths and weaknesses, how do you implement them in your career? Is it an advocacy thing? Is it a, Hey boss, I'm really good at this and I really suck at this, you go do something about it. What do we do...

Anna Nelson: Right.

Russel Lolacher: With that information? Cause sometimes it can hurt us and sometimes it can help us.

Anna Nelson: Obviously it depends on who your leader is. Cause I've worked with people where you say anything and there's a chance you get fired just by opening your mouth. So which is why I quit my job and started my own business. And so, but then there are other people like the, gentleman I worked with earlier, it's okay, I love talking to people. Is there any way I can talk to more people? And so I think if someone is caring, yes, then do that. But there is a level of you're responsible for yourself at the end of the day, you are responsible for your career. You're responsible for your goals and your hopes and your dreams. So how do you get what you want? Well, first start by understanding yourself because that helps you get what you want. And so if you end up learning something about yourself and realizing, oh my gosh, I am in the wrong role for me, or this team isn't. And I've worked with people where they have been like, they thought it was the politics at work.

That's what they came to me with. They're like, all right, I, there's politics at work. I want to figure out how to navigate that. It turned out they were in the wrong room. They were not in the right role. And that person at the end of our coaching session had just accepted a role working with people in the C suite, completely different job, but one that she was super qualified for, but it started with her learning, what do I bring to the table and how can I communicate it in a way that isn't, Oh my gosh, I only love talking to people. So I need to talk to people. She was able to say, this is what I bring to the table, quantify it and all of that. And an advocate for herself, but not in a way that's please, can I work with these people? It wasn't like that.

Russel Lolacher: And I think we need to connect the dot a bit around the communication piece. So I'm a communication nerd. That's my background. If we're communicating anything, it's understanding our audience. And I don't think we do that enough. We confuse broadcasting with communication. So if we're going to advocate for ourselves, especially around our strengths and what we're good at, we have to tie it to business outcomes, visions, and missions, things that your bosses care about, because they don't care about you just having... oh, you want to do a thing? Great. How does that help me? How does it help the organization? Even the best leaders will need to see some of that connective tissue. Other than that, it's I don't want to pay you for a hobby. Like I don't want to pay you to go you can do that on your own spare time.

We have widgets to sell and things to serve. So I think it's really about understanding who your audience is in that advocacy. And then trying to connect the dots so it matters to them. So it benefits us.

Anna Nelson: Yeah. And that, and that is a tricky thing, right? Cause that first we have to do the inner work of understanding, okay, this is what I love doing. I love talking to people. I love, love, love, love, love. This is what I'm going to, okay. But then now when you take it into the business, like the work world, how do I tell you Russel?

I see that you are looking for a customer service rep and I would love to work with you. And here's why I understand the benefit of relationships. Are you looking to build your... the number of clients that you get in blah, blah, blah. And this is what I've done before. So now it comes, once you know what you do now, it becomes selling what you do to someone who needs exactly what you have and getting very clear on quote data that you can share or stories that you have to say, Hey, when I was 25 years old, this is what I did. And this is how it helped. And I can do the same thing for you. It's an, I worked with someone who had, his position was eliminated at a fortune 10 company, and we did the same thing, how figuring out strengths, weaknesses, stores, all of the things.

And then when he was out looking for roles. I was like, now we have to flip it because you can't go into an interview to say, I want this job because I know I'm good at it. Now it's, you are looking for this person, this type of person, and I am that this type of person. And here's why.

Russel Lolacher: Yeah, it's, it's the result. Strengths gets you is sort of the, the engine to get you where you want to go. But at the end of the day, it's, we're looking for results and impact. What does it actually mean to the organization? And I think there'll be some people that will throw their hands up in the air and go, this is, this isn't the job for me.

And they might be right, but they also might not be right. They might not be looking at the opportunities or the larger organization. They may just be too quick to just because I'm not getting this one thing I want really bad, they'll throw their hands up in the air and go, well, this isn't the place for me. Or you haven't done enough work and you're given up too quick because it isn't at the end of the day, all about us, we're responsible and accountable for our careers, but it's a larger ecosystem and you should understand you can have more impact and more ripples in the pond if you look at where you work and the opportunities there.

Anna Nelson: Yeah, and I think a job is a job. It's not vacation, right? Like in my own business, yeah, I love working for myself, but it's still, I'd rather not work for myself. I'd rather be a trust fund baby and live off of someone's riches that would be my ideal, but that's not the case. So, I've built my business around what I love and what I'm good at, but there are parts that I still don't love. All parts of life, you're going to have that. And so I think, I think ultimately being like, what do I, what is important? What is my idea of success? What are my goals? Is my goal to have a job that pays enough to pay the bills and I get to go on a few trips. Okay, great. Now, what kind of job could I do if in my case, I love talking to people, where can I plug myself in?

Then it's that. And I think also making sure you're working for a company whose product you love. And if you find a good boss, that's great. And how can you be a friend to other people? So there are so many things, but definitely if you're not good at filing and you'd rather be talking to someone like myself, then pay attention to that and go get a job where you can talk to people and let someone else who doesn't want to talk to people do the filing job.

You know.

Russel Lolacher: So we talked about our relationship with ourselves, because that's where the strengths and weaknesses come. We've talked about relationships with our direct supervisor, our particular leader. How does understanding your strengths and weaknesses improve your relationships with your team, with your colleagues, those that are across from you?

Anna Nelson: Hmm.

Russel Lolacher: That are working at the same, similar goal?

Anna Nelson: I think. If everyone is in a good healthy spot, there is a level of trust and respect that can be brought to the table. So when I worked in marketing, it was a very small team everyone on that team was very good at what they did and with and we were interdependent and so when someone went on vacation, it would be like, oh my gosh how are you going to survive a week without that person?

And so but we appreciated what that person did and if I... and so that is what it brings to the table versus ah, not Russel again. He's like talking his head off. I can't stand it when he's here. It's like, all right, let's talk about why Russel likes talking. He is very good at communicating certain messages.

So now if I don't like talking to people, let's have Russel go out and he can tell everyone, Hey guys, we're now selling a million widgets instead of five million. So, the trust and the respect and appreciation for someone who is very good at what they do because you know that you couldn't do it but that person you're like, oh i'm so glad that person's on my team because they are so good at what they do. And they appreciate that about you.

Russel Lolacher: I want to wrap this up by asking a question. I always find really interesting because we talk about anything I've talked about on this show, which is about getting better at things, building our relationships better, but it's consistency that I find really interesting because I hate checkbox leadership and transactional leadership going, did a thing moving on.

So as we learn about ourselves, as we learn about our strengths and weaknesses, we've taken the course we've, we've gotten the coach. How do we keep this consistent through our careers? Because things change, things ebb and flow. We also get busy. We also prioritize different things as we go through our career.

What would you recommend to people to ensure that they're consistent about understanding their strengths and weaknesses?

Anna Nelson: I think again, it's taking the time to pay attention. Have a check, a personal check in with yourself let's say at... Especially at jobs where there's the annual review, like maybe take that time personally to go to a coffee shop and sit down and be like, okay. A year ago, this is what I said I wanted.

Is this still what I want? Are there things that I want to improve upon or get, have FaceTime on or projects I want to be part of because I know I want to grow? Like maybe there's something, a course that you want to take. And so it's kind of like just paying attention. Am I still where I want to be?

If not, where do I want to be? And is there a way that I can do that even while still being in the same position, or maybe it's time to evaluate and look at other options. And because I think with anything, you can just go to your job every day, but soon, like 20 years have gone by and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm 20 years older, I'm still at this job. What have I done? Well, you have to, again, be responsible for yourself and your career and advocating for is this still what I want? And if it isn't, then you can make the change. And if it is, great, more power to you. Keep going. That's awesome. You're lucky.

Russel Lolacher: Don't get locked into a thing. We do change as human beings and what we prioritize changes. So yeah, I love bringing that into the process. Thank you, Anna. Thank you so much for this conversation. I'm going to wrap it up with the question I have to ask all my guests as well, because it's a nice little bookend.

What do you believe is one simple action people can do right now to improve their relationships at work?

Anna Nelson: I think get to know the people that you work with. I think that, especially in a day and age where we are working from home, working remotely on our devices, are humans on the other side of those machines. And I say, get to know, I get to know the people that you're working with.

Russel Lolacher: That is Anna Nelson. She's a certified strength coach and the founder of Anna Nelson LLC, a consultancy to help you do just that. Thank you so much for your time today, Anna.

Anna Nelson: Thank you so much, Russel. This was fun.