Relationships at Work - The Leadership Guide to Building Workplace Connections and Avoiding Blind Spots.

Leaders Will Disappoint – And That’s Okay

Russel Lolacher Episode 209

Leadership is messy because leaders are human. 

In this episode, we explore how to navigate the inevitable disappointments of leadership—whether as the one leading or the one being led. From missed expectations to tough decisions, we'll unpack why these moments happen, how to build trust through self-awareness and accountability, and how to foster understanding and compassion for the leaders around us. 

Let’s focus on growth, connection, and the shared journey of becoming better.

And connect with me for more great content!

This is something I have to remind myself whenever I've been disappointed by leadership in my career or whenever I've failed in my own ability to lead.

Leaders will disappoint those they lead. It'll happen. 

Whether they won't react in the way we were hoping. Or a decision is made that we feel doesn't properly value our work. Or they'll drop the ball when it comes to listening to our concerns.

Or as a leader, we'll miss things that are important to our team and its culture. Or we'll prioritize work that others won't think is as important. Or we'll serve our bosses and prioritize their needs over those we are entrusted to lead.

These disappointments can lead to employees feeling undervalued, or less important. If it happens enough, they’ll talk about how terrible leaders they are, either in their heads or to their colleagues or online. 

What should give us pause and reflection is that this happens because leaders are humans. I know, not a surprise, but certainly one that needs reiterating. I know I've had to remind myself over the years. Wishing some leaders were better leaders, made better choices, communicated better, didn’t assume, listened more, cared more, etc. 

But they will do the best they can and they will succeed and fail on multiple occasions.

So what can we do as leaders ourselves to recognize this and manage it and our mindsets? We can’t control what other leaders do or don’t do but we can take steps to influence our environment and model what we want to see. 

1.    Acknowledge and Normalize Leadership Mistakes
Recognize that as leaders, we sometimes fail our employees. Admitting these mistakes is essential for building trust and fostering growth. By openly acknowledging when we've let our team down, we create an environment where everyone feels safe to discuss challenges without fear of harsh judgment.

2.    Engage in Honest Self-Reflection and Accept Feedback
Implement practices like debriefings or leadership reviews that specifically address where we may have failed our teams. Use these sessions to highlight what went well and what didn't, focusing on personal growth rather than blame. Accept the feedback our teams provide without being defensive, showing our commitment to improvement.

3.    Foster Open Dialogue About Leadership Shortcomings
Cultivate a supportive culture that encourages honest conversations about when and how leadership may have missed the mark. We should share our experiences and decision-making processes, providing context even if our teams don't agree with us. This transparency helps prevent future mistakes and strengthens our collective sense of community—we're all in this together.

4.    Commit to Improving Leadership Practices
View our failures—and the feedback about them—as opportunities for growth. Engage in regular training, workshops, and personal development plans focused on enhancing our leadership skills and addressing areas where we've fallen short. Be transparent about this journey so our teams understand we're actively trying to learn and do better.

As leaders, it's important to strengthen our self-awareness so we understand when we make mistakes, but also to admit them to everyone impacted by them. It builds trust and connection.

As leaders being led, we have to work on our patience and understanding for our colleagues and our management as they are also on a journey and learning along the way. It demonstrates compassion and empathy.

Whether we are impacted by these mistakes or are the ones making them, we have a role to play in creating a healthy workplace. So let’s focus on our journey and hopefully inspire others to focus on theirs. 

People on this episode