Leading with Truth: Embracing ‘I Don’t Know’

In a world where leaders often feel pressured to have all the answers, it’s easy to fall into the trap of faking it. But what if the real power of leadership lies in admitting when you don't know? 

In this episode, we tackle the toxic advice many leaders receive—lie if you don’t know—and why embracing vulnerability is the key to building genuine trust. Discover practical steps for handling the unknown with integrity, the impact of transparent communication on your reputation, and how owning your truth sets the standard for a healthier workplace culture. It's time to redefine leadership—one honest conversation at a time.

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Transcript

 Welcome back to Relationships At Work – Your guide to building workplace connections and avoiding leadership blindspots..  I’m your host Russel Lolacher

I’m a communications and leadership nerd with a couple of decades of experience and a heap of curiosity on how we can make the workplace better. If you’re a leader trying to understand and improve your impact on work culture and the employee experience, you’re in the right place.

This mini-episode is a quick and valuable bit of information to help you think differently for the week ahead.

Inspired by our R@W Note Newsletter, I’m passing on to you… 

"Leading with Truth: Embracing ‘I Don’t Know’"

Early on in my leadership journey, I received some of the worst advice I'd ever gotten to that point.

"If you don't know an answer, lie. Say that you do and then go find out."

I had just started in my role at a new organization, and my new boss, a senior leader who I reported to, was trying to mentor me. Or at least share what she thought was sage advice based on how she successfully got to her position.

Let me share that advice again…

"When you're in a room with other leaders, you don't want them to think you don't know something. It looks bad. The best thing you can do is lie and then find out what you need to know after the meeting."

WTF

I was new so of course I smiled and nodded and thought, "Well, if that's how they do it here... I probably should as well." (Looking back on this, how many other leaders are led down a bad path because they're modelling bad leaders? And just perpetuating bad leadership?)

Our goal as leaders is to build trust and connection, and that only happens through vulnerability and transparency. If our organization doesn't work that way, that says a lot more about the organizational culture and its leadership than it does about one exchange like this.

So let’s lay out a path that probably seems obvious, but is still worth doing. I’m sure some people will think this seems like something we should inherently know and act like but that's not always the case. Even if we do know this, our colleagues might not. And we have to set an example.

What I've learned, is when in a situation that we don't have an answer to:

·       Acknowledge We Don’t and Commit to Finding the Answer: The first step is to admit we don't have the answer at the moment but reassure them that we are going to find the answer. And within a specified time frame. It shows honesty, respect and prioritization.Try this:

"Great question. Let me look into it and get back to you by [specific time frame]."

·       Leverage Our Resources and Network: Once we've acknowledged the question, then do what we said we would – digging into our resources and network to find the answer. This can involve doing research online, consulting internal reports, reaching out to colleagues or experts within your organization, or even asking our professional network outside the company. The key is to do what we said we would, quickly, in finding the information we need and to consider who might be able to provide insights or data that we don't have.
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·       Provide a Progress Update: Obviously provide the information by the time we initially indicated. That’s the best option. But if the answer requires more time, it's important to keep the person informed about our progress. If we can, maybe share a bit of what we've learned so far and the paths we’ve taken to get the information (always nice to name-drop if we think it'll help). Communicate that we're actively working on it so they know we're treating it with importance and priority. Like this;

"I'm still looking into your question about [topic]. I've reached out to a few experts [including... ] and am waiting for a response. I'll keep you updated as I learn more."

If we don't know the answer to a question, don't lie. The ramifications to our reputation if we're found out is not something we can easily fix. Following these steps, it not only demonstrates our commitment to providing accurate and helpful information but also our ability to handle situations with leadership, respect and resourcefulness. 

Most importantly it builds trust and respect in the workplace between you and your colleagues and boss. And it models behaviour we want in a healthy culture.

So, I can't believe we have to say this. Don't Lie.

Instead, be honest, helpful and someone people can trust. That’s leadership.