How To Harness The Emotional Power of Change Enthusiasm w/ Cassandra Worthy

In this episode of Relationships at Work, Russel chats with speaker, author and change enthusiast Cassandra Worthy on how we can embrace difficult emotions and harness the power of change enthusiasm.

Cassandra shares her experience and insights in...

• Emotional awareness as a foundation for change.
• Opportunity for change in adversity.
• Resilience is not just persistence, it requires rest and reflection.
• Emotional awareness and communication are key to change.
• Addressing resistance to chance across generations.
• Role modeling emotional awareness.
• Self-awareness as the foundation for relationships and connection.

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Transcript

Russel Lolacher: Hi, Cassandra.

Cassandra Worthy: What it do?

Russel Lolacher: Thanks for being on the show.

Cassandra Worthy: Thank you for having Russel.

Russel Lolacher: Before we get anywhere, I have to ask you a question that I ask all of my guests with dramatic flair, what is your best or worst employee experience?

Cassandra Worthy: Oy vey. You for this too, Russel.

Russel Lolacher: I did. Five minutes ago. You should be so prepared by now.

Cassandra Worthy: I know, I know. So I'm gonna do the thing that the majority of your...

Russel Lolacher: Of your guests do.

Cassandra Worthy: Of your guests do, because I always go, right, you have good managers and you have bad managers. I learned so much from the bad managers because they exemplify what I don't want to be. Knowing that I have an aspiration to lead others.

And so we had and my prior experience before I founded my consulting company there was a leader of all of global operations. I worked in a consumer packaged goods big, big company. And he was So brash, he was so... he only paid attention to his direct reports. I would be sitting in a review sharing about the technology, the innovation that my team is bringing.

I'm the one with all the knowledge and the expertise. He would direct all of his questions to my manager, who was another older white man, by the way. And rarely ever look at me. And it just made me feel unseen. It made me feel unvalued and that he couldn't care less who was doing the work and he didn't have any sense of value for me and only wanted to get value from the white man direct report that he had.

And it made me feel invisible. It was terrible. And yeah, so I strive to never be that way and to look for those individuals who might not say as much in, in the room. Maybe those who are more introverted, but they have a wealth of knowledge and follow up with him after the meeting.

I know she didn't say much, but I'm really curious to hear what your thoughts are. Having those, those one on ones. Those follow ups. I always want individuals that I work with, that I work around, to feel seen and strive to understand those individuals. Because when you do, you can understand their innate strengths and the value that they bring and then how you can help them unleash it. And then that's better for everybody.

Russel Lolacher: Did you feel that they hid behind, was it a hierarchy thing? Was it, I feel because I did the things that put me on this position in an org that gave me that you need to earn your way to get to my level to talk to me. Was that...

Cassandra Worthy: I think there was a mix of things. I think that was involved.

I also think that there was either unconscious or conscious racial bias. He was an individual who surrounded himself with people who looked like him. And I noticed that a lot of his confidants, the people that he kept close to him, that he liked to advance, were also white men. And so I think that there was a bias that was happening there as well.

I am a pretty outspoken individual. But I also was really good at what I did. But I could tell it was almost like he felt maybe even threatened by me and I made it a point when he would ask my manager the question to lean forward and respond before my manager had an because, and it's almost like physically I, do you see me? Can you see that I am in this room? And that I am the one leading the work. Yeah, it was a challenge.

Russel Lolacher: I've had a few conversations on the show where we talked about the impact of those things. Now the funny thing is, is let me ask a quick question. How long ago was that?

Cassandra Worthy: Oh gosh. When he was leading the organization, so this was probably in...2013?

Russel Lolacher: So we're looking at, at least about 10 years, 10 years ago. When I ask the question, and this is another reoccurring theme, is when I ask people their worst experience, it's always 10, 20, even 30 years ago. And we're not talking about a bad day or a bad experience, now we're talking about trauma at this point. What, and if this is too personal, how did that affect you mental health wise?

Cassandra Worthy: Ah, that's a really, really good question. And I have to say I had developed the skills and the self awareness, emotional self awareness as well as the reinforcement and mentorship and loved ones and support system to be able to voice that feeling of being unseen. And so I'm thankful that I had the tools by the time I reached that point.

Otherwise it would have made me question my innate value. It would have made me question, Okay, well maybe I don't have a right to be in these rooms. Maybe I, I, I'm not supposed to be speaking up. Oh, I need to be listening more to him. You know, I think that it would have had that type of impact on me.

But I'm so fortunate that I had developed that support system. I had the tools and have been practicing them. And also had planted a seed of my own innate value. And that I am supposed to be in every room that I walk into. For my mom. And that I can do and be anything. And so I had a, had a lot of the goods from a lot of different areas in my life that I'm grateful for.

Russel Lolacher: I love hearing that because there's so there's a lot of people that don't have that support system. Where they're have the they know they're great at their job and yet feeling that undervaluedness day in and day out, and then you, you become not yourself anymore.

I've, I've talked about it on the show before, I did a, I was in a room with a, we were doing a values exercise. And there was this woman at another table beside me, and she put her hand up at the end after we'd done this traditional values exercise, like, so what are your top ten blah blah blah. What was shocking to me was she did her values were different at home than different at work.

So, I'm like, okay, so let me get this straight. Your family's important when you leave work, but once you come to work, you're not, they're not important anymore. She was a completely different person when she walked through the door or turned on the computer. Because your value should, we both know, should never change.

So that scares me. Like I love your story, but I also feel bad for those that don't have that experience and have to go along to get along and become a different person to conform to a horrible toxic culture, a horrible leader. So let's change that. Let's get into a more of a positive conversation because we're going to get enthusiastic about change. So this is your message. This is your focus. This is your research. This is, this is what you're trying to move the needle on. What the hell is change enthusiasm?

Cassandra Worthy: What is it, Cassandra?

Russel Lolacher: What are we even talking about here?

Cassandra Worthy: So I tell you, Russel, when I tell people that I teach change enthusiasm, I wrote the book on change enthusiasm. My company is called Change Enthusiasm Global and they're going through tough change. They roll their eyes and they say, get out of here. I don't need your enthusiasm. I am having a tough time right now. Don't talk to me about all this excitement. And so I have to reframe and let you know that change enthusiasm is a three step mental framework and it starts with the difficult emotional energy that change brings. The frustration, the anger, the anxiety, the fear, the guilt, the shame, the devastation, the, the, the grief, the sense of loss. That is a signal, it is emotional energy, it is energetic entities, it's a resource, it's data. And it's commonly inspired when we get through change. Change is difficult. It is very often difficult because it's colored by these difficult emotions. But in change lies opportunity and in change lies opportunity for growth and evolution. And so change enthusiasm again, it's a step mindset. Step one is a signal. It's acknowledging having that emotional awareness. I'm feeling frustrated in this moment. A new announcement just came out. I'm frustrated with it. I'm anxious. I'm fearful. Recognizing and allowing that energy to exist. It's about knowing you. How does fear show up in your body? How does frustration show up? What happens physiologically in your body, right? And being aware of those emotions being there and allowing them to exist. Not suppressing them, not trying to ignore them, not trying to run away from them, but allow them to inform you and actually take an inventory.

I'm feeling all these emotions. It's about having that language, right? And then the second step is the opportunity. Once you've accepted that your signals are there... they exist. You've acknowledged them. You've granted yourself grace. Maybe you've taken a day off so that you can lay on the couch and binge some Netflix, and eat some donuts as you're feeling all your grief.

But as soon as you can accept they're there, you move into the second step, which is that opportunity. And this is where you're trying to figure out, how can I make this thing, all this stuff that's happening around me, how can that make this work for me instead of against me? How can I find opportunities to learn more about myself, learn more about my peers, my colleagues, my business, the industry, the world, you know, my, my, my connections, right?

What is the opportunity for me here? How can I be better tomorrow than I am today? And then the final step is a choice. This mindset leaves everyone in the seat of power, the seat of choice. It's up to you how you experience change. It's up to you how you navigate, how you influence, how you inspire through change. And so that's the final step because through the power of choice you can start to transform that emotional energy. Start moving maybe from resentment to being intrigued, right, or curious. And ultimately moving to those growth sustaining emotions like anticipation and joy and gratitude and enthusiasm.

But enthusiasm is the promise. It's the promise of the practice. And oftentimes it takes years having this emotional awareness, understanding the frustration is there, going through the opportunity, making the choice. And over time, the more that you practice this, you'll find you'll spend more time in the growth sustaining emotions of change. Something will hit, you'll feel the frustration. Ooh, I am pissed off in this moment, but you know what? I'm gonna take a beat. I am gonna go get on the couch and I'm gonna eat pizza and doughnuts. But I know when I wake up tomorrow, I'm in my moment of opportunity and I have the power to choose how I show up.

And so, yeah, it's a practice. It's a mental framework. You have to practice it. It's not a one and done.

Russel Lolacher: So you're talking about how... , eloquently. Eloquently, I won't lie, it was eloquent. In that, I don't wanna change. And I get that, I see that, but the problem is, is that people will bring up, but it's another change. People are becoming so overwhelmed by change. We seem to be doing so much change right now that having that time for ourselves, A, doesn't feel like we even have that time, but second, it's I can do change. I'm actually really good at change. Not 17 changes in three years. Like, I just need a beat. But that's not happening. That is, we're not allowed to have this. How can we still nurture enthusiasm when we feel like we're just getting run over by a truck every five minutes?

Cassandra Worthy: Oh, it's such a good question. And it's, that is the reality of change today. And I and I say so often a part of our philosophy of Change Enthusiasm Global is that change has changed, right?

We used to think about changes as an episodic event. There's a clear beginning and a clear end. And we always think about the change curve. Where are you on the change curve? When you're dealing with 17 different changes at the same time, the curve is completely irrelevant. Which curve are you talking about? You know? And so it's less about managing the change and understanding a curve. It's more about that intersection of change and emotion. When you're in it, you're feeling the frustration. What is the mindset that you're practicing? What is the skill set that you're embodying? And what are the tools that you're using to move you through it?

And, you know, in today's times, so much energy and effort and focus is given to resilience. And, and empowering and elevating those who we see as resilient. But I think there's a danger. There's a pitfall in thinking about resiliency. So often people believe that resiliency is you fall down, you get back up, you keep moving. You fall down, you get back up, you keep moving. You fall down, you get back up, you keep moving. Constant, constant movement. I like to think of resilience as a muscle. And I liken it to a physical muscle. Right? And when we're building our physical muscles, and I was a D1 athlete at Georgia Tech, did shot put and discus, so I lifted a lot of weights.

You break that muscle down one day. Right? And you're lifting, you break that body group down. And then the next day you rest. You rest that body group so that it can rebuild the muscle fibers. Everything that got torn down, it's rebuilding, and that's where the strength comes. And then the next day, you break it down again.

The same is true in change. When you go through change, there's a strain, right? You're frustrated, it's difficult, it's hard, but then you get yourself back up. And then you have to take time for respite and reflection. What have I learned? Over these past several weeks, over these past months, what have I learned? How have I grown? How have I become better? And it's those reflections that become seeds of trust, such that when you fall down again, you're getting up to explore, what have I learned? What have I just learned from this? Taking that rest, and then you move forward. Right? You fall down, you're getting back up to understand, what have I learned?

You do the reflection, and then you move forward. Right? So often we forget the reflection and the respite. And that's how change, change fatigue happens. Right? That's not true resilience. Because the resilient strength is never getting built. You're just going. You know what I mean?

Russel Lolacher: Well, I hear this a lot from an individual standpoint. I hear what you're saying, but we suck at this.

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah.

Russel Lolacher: Like, so I'm seeing the stats around mergers and acquisitions, and I use mergers because I know that's your background as well, is mergers, you cannot do a bigger change in most organizations than a merger.

But this is all relative no matter the scope of the thing. But change still is a failure in a lot of ways. I think the stat was 70 to 90 percent of mergers are unsuccessful.

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah, yeah.

Russel Lolacher: Where are we getting this wrong? And I'm looking at it from an organizational level as an individual, we can work on that resilience, but the organization seems to be failing.

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah, and I think it's a matter of being in tune with the change readiness of the organization.

And, you know, we, we study the intersection of changing emotion in our research all over the world. What are the common emotions that employees experience in going through change? What drives resistance, effective strategies to mitigate that? And what we've discovered are these six skills that are so foundational when moving to change the one of the biggest ones is communication, right?

And so often leaders fall short in their communication strategy, and it can't just be you dispersing information when you think they need to hear it. It's also creating avenues for employees to feed back what's working? What's not working? Where are they seeing blind spots? What are their ideas? Have two way street, right?

Two way communication. We talk about self development, emotional self awareness on the leader's side. Them knowing themselves. Practicing some confident vulnerability. Authenticity. Them being their full authentic self. Creating the courageous tank container for those around them to do the same. The power of agility, gratitude and empathy.

Right. It's, it's those skills that historically have been called soft. Even I myself have called them soft at one time. But I now know, having done this work for, you know, five plus years and obviously being in the workforce for 15 years going through a lot of acquisitions. It's some of the toughest skills that that you can, that you can develop.

I'm a chemical engineer. I have designed batch reactors and systems to scale up huge vats of shampoo and really, really complex technology. That takes hard skills. And now I'm in the business of, of emotions and human connection. This is the most difficult work I've ever done, but it's the most rewarding. These skills are critical. And so I think you know, the failure of these organizations and these big mergers is forgetting the human element. Most importantly, the power of emotions. The power that emotion has to thwart your change success. And so it's about arming your leaders and the workforce with the mindset, the skill set, and the tool kit so that you can use that emotional energy so that it doesn't stall you or thwart you, but rather accelerates your change efforts.

Russel Lolacher: A problem I see with a lot of leaders that are leading that change is they're looking at where we're trying to get to. How does legacy play a part of this? Because we are moving in a direction. Say, I'll use an example of, of a, a reorg or a merger of, by doing this, we're gonna be able to do that.

But we did something differently before that people are very happy about or... or even if it was crappy before, people did enough work to do loopholes that it works for them.

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah.

Russel Lolacher: But that's all gone now. We're now into the future. Legacy seems to have to be respected a bit. Even if we want this, we have to give a little love for the work that was before. Even if it was crap, they're still there, right? How does that show up in your research and how your conversations go?

Cassandra Worthy: For, for me, that sounds like appreciation. It's about appreciation for the road that's been, that's been traveled. Appreciation for all of the work that has gone into getting individuals, the organization, the business to where it is now.

Celebrating that. And then pulling forward everything that got you to where you're at. And that will continue to be important moving forward. And in that, there's congruence. And there's something that employees can hold on to, and it doesn't feel like their entire world is changing. And so I think that there's opportunity when these big, big changes are first being announced, to invite these spaces for grief to exist, to invite these spaces to acknowledge and recognize the strength, the power, the know-how, the individuals, the energy that got you to this point, and everything that will still be required to move you forward as you move towards, you know, that, that new vision. But, but yeah, there's that such, such power in it and creating those spaces for the grief to happen. I don't think we talk about grief enough in the workplace, right? That sense of loss. And it's, it's huge when you think about mergers and acquisitions because I lose a culture that I knew.

I'm, I'm literally like losing individuals that I used to work with, because maybe they're not going to be a part of the merger. So I'm losing these connections. I'm losing knowing what I'm supposed to do every single day. I'm losing knowing who I'm working for and working with. There's a lot of loss. And so there needs to be space created for this grief to flow.

Something that we do with client organizations as we go through listening sessions and understand what are the narratives, what are the stories as you think about change? It's a lot less of a cultural assessment and more of a cultural discovery. We have world class journalists on staff, interviewing individuals to get the stories, to build out the narratives, right?

These individual stories that are then painting the picture of overarching narratives that then drive the belief and the behavior of the organization. Understand what that is, so that we know what needs to change and get altered to actually get to this new vision.

Russel Lolacher: And that leads to my, what my next question was, and you've kind of half answered it a bit, is how do you know it's not working?

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it's not working if you set up very hard fast, this is what success looks like, and you're not actually attaining those results. So, you know, very clear black and white, and I'm all for the standard blocking and tackling of traditional change management. I think there's still a place for it. I think it's still very important. It's not what we do at Change Enthusiasm Global. We are compensating for where traditional change management falls down.

It's great to have the key metrics to understand what success looks like because you're able to then grade yourself to know if you're moving the needle and knowing you're making the progress that you need to make. But there also needs to be this other aspect of the emotions and the human element and living in a very dynamic world of change being constant all the time. But yeah, and you know, when you think about communication and if you might be falling down, a thing that we invite clients to do is to actually get. a survey out to the workforce. How do you like to receive information? Do you want to see an email? Would you prefer having a little short videos? Do you want to have a big town hall?

Do you just want to have this one on one with your manager? Small teams? How do you like to get the information? If they have told you this is the way I like to receive it and then you give it that way, they're more apt to actually listen and read it or watch it or listen to it, right? And so, again, it's that two way street and really being stepping foot engaged with the workforce.

Not thinking of this as this thing that is going to go off and achieve this vision that I have, but something you need to get enmeshed into, that you need to understand, that you need to partner with, that needs to work with you to move forward?

Russel Lolacher: Is that also how you're addressing diversity? Because Boomer is gonna address this change a lot differently than a Gen Y, Gen Zed. Gen Zed, still Canadian.

Cassandra Worthy: Yeah, all good, all good. Yeah, it's interesting. So I talked about the research we did across a lot of different generations, right? Huge generational breakout. And what we have discovered, especially, I'll talk about resistance to change. Resistance is prevalent across all generations. Here in America, 41 percent of Americans will self identify as resistant to change. Fifty-six percent of us think our co workers are. So, so, you know, it's, it's, it's real, but it's also relative because we like to point like this, you know, it's not me it's you, right? So for me, it tells me that resistance is real, but it's also relative. So it's about getting curious. How am I showing up? Getting curious about if you see resistance in another?

So resistance is prevalent across all generations and it's all rooted in fear. The reason for the fear, the thoughts bringing awareness to the fear differs per So for older generations, it's I am in my zone of comfort. I have been doing this for years. I am great at it. I am a sought after expert. I do it well. Why are you trying to change it? Especially when I don't even have that much longer to go in the workforce. I don't want to change. I'm very comfortable. And so it's a fear of stepping outside that zone of discomfort. For younger generations, it's a fear of falling down, looking stupid, not having all the right answers. And so there's, there's a concern of if I say this, how will I be looked upon, right? Because I always want to be that bright, shining star. But it's still fear. It's still fear. And that's why I always invite people to do that kind of low risk learning that low risk area of being in that zone of discomfort where you can build a muscle memory of feeling discomfort and being on the growth edge such that when it hits you in work or any other aspect of life, Ooh, I have been here before. I've experienced this before and it was difficult, but I grew because of it.

Russel Lolacher: So say somebody's listening to us talk right now.

Cassandra Worthy: Let's hope. At least one.

Russel Lolacher: Hope, at least three. My mom is so...

Cassandra Worthy: My mom's on it too.

Russel Lolacher: Your mom's listening? Perfect.

Cassandra Worthy: We got two. Love it.

Russel Lolacher: And they're like, that's great. And I agree with everything you're saying. But what do I do with this? Because my organization isn't prepared to take these three steps.

Cassandra Worthy: Oh, go to Change Enthusiasm Global dot com.

Russel Lolacher: There you go. Good plug. Good plug.

Cassandra Worthy: No, no, no. But seriously, seriously, it starts with you. It starts with you listening. And the first aspect of change enthusiasm, the skill set. It's about self awareness.

And how you're showing up. You know, when I think about leadership and the way that I personally define it, you can lead from anywhere that you sit in an organization, from anywhere you sit in life. Because someone who has the ability to lead simply possesses the power to influence another to And you can do that from wherever you sit. And so when you get in tune with you, when you are getting curious about, you know, your own emotional energy, what you're excited about, what you're jazzed about, what you don't like, where your strengths lie, where your passions are, and you're able to show up beaming that authentic light just a little bit brighter, people will see it and people will notice it.

And when you start role modeling that vulnerability, role modeling that emotional self awareness, role modeling crystal clear communication, two way street communication, empathy, appreciation, agility, people will take, take notice. And you know that, that there's a lot of power in that and you'll start getting people who want to follow because you're going to be role modeling this. And the other thing is offer your success stories, especially this is a great way in coaching up.

And sharing, you know, I've been practicing, I've been experimenting with this, this behavior. And this is how it's showing up. And it's actually working really well. And it might entice them or incentivize them. Maybe that's something that I could try as well. But it, it always starts with you. Role model it, embody it.

Russel Lolacher: I'm going to wrap it up with the last question I have to ask, which is I have to, it's like...

Cassandra Worthy: You have to!

Russel Lolacher: It's policy at this point. What's one simple thing people can do right now to improve those relationships at work?

Cassandra Worthy: I doubled down on what I just said. Get to know you first. Come to know you a bit better.

Increase that emotional self awareness and then strive for you to show up a little bit more yourself, a little bit more of your fullest self expression. And then seek to invite that with another. Find one individual. Maybe it's somebody, like the way that I felt all those years ago, did not feel seen. Maybe it's somebody in your organization who you think might not feel seen. Go out of your way to engage with that person, and let them know... I see you.

And I appreciate you.

Russel Lolacher: Thanks so much for this, Cassandra..

Cassandra Worthy: That was great, man.