Would you tell your manager if you were looking for a new job?
I came across this question recently on Instagram and thought it was an interesting one. It really had me thinking about what’s behind a question like this. What are people’s thoughts and experiences?
So I asked.
I reached out on Threads (I’m really enjoying Threads right now) and asked that very question. The answers were… mostly pretty sad.
Mostly it was NEVER and Absolutely Not. And some of those came from HR professionals.
Some of the stories included:
One gave their executive the heads up, asking for any change that would allow employees like them to see the next step in their career path. Exec said, nope. So they were pretty much challenged to leave.
One was considered “unloyal” when they did share they were looking for something better paying.
Another did tell their boss, hoping for a smooth exit to help with knowledge transfer, only to be fired two days later. And this was in a so-called “people-first” company.
How’s this for a quote: “I have decades of HR, up to the VP level. Nobody at your job is your friend and “culture” is a myth. Relationships there are transactional.”
Some factors came up:
- whether it was an internal vs external application. People were more likely to share for internal because “their boss would find out anyway”. While another had a company policy that requires they notifiy their current manager if they apply internally so HR can follow up.
- Relationships with the boss did come up but wasn’t key.
- Same with the culture of the organization.
Sure. Every situation is different but this was a lot of overwhelming “not a chance in hell.”
One HR person even recommended to dress nicer more frequently so it’s not odd when you dress up for a job interview. So they won’t be suspicious.
What is going on? Where the hell do we work? Why is there such a lack of leadership in this area.
This is such a failure of leadership. I’ve had staff that applied to internal and external positions. They told me weeks/months in advance. I helped them in anything they wanted to do. Period. Because their success was important to me, regardless of where it was. At a personal level, their success was important. And if they get better opportunities or pay elsewhere, why wouldn’t I help them. They are a colleague, a human. Not a commodity. Maybe they’ll get great experience somewhere and return to the organization if they leave on good terms.
My heart broke reading these responses and knowing this is the cultures that we need to fix.
Now there were a few positive. Most would tell their bosses but only after they applied.
A manager was told - I kept it confidential, and tried to plan ahead for workload changes. I tried to make sure they were ok in the meantime. It was a bad situation, so it wasn’t something I could or would try to head off.
And another had a great insight - Always did. Higher ups are always scouting for talent. If they hear your are looking, doors often open.
So, when WOULD we tell your manager?
1. Strong Working Relationship: If you have a particularly open and trustworthy relationship with your manager, where you feel comfortable discussing your career aspirations and goals. Your manager could actually be an ally, sharing advice.
2. Transfer or Promotion Opportunities: If you believe that your manager could help facilitate your job search by recommending you for other positions or promotions within the organization, it may be a good idea to share your intentions.
To both of these, you really need to understand your relationship.
So, when WOULD we NOT tell our manager?
1. Risk of Retaliation: In some organizations or situations, disclosing your intent to leave might lead to less than ideal consequences, such as being marginalized or even terminated before you secure a new job.
2. Uncertainty: Job searches can be lengthy and uncertain processes. Telling your manager prematurely might create unnecessary tension or uncertainty at your current job, which could negatively affect your performance and relationships.
The feedback I got really highlighted both of these.
To recap:
If it’s a bad or indifferent boss? No.
If it’s a leader who has supported our development and career path, and sees us as a team member on a journey? Yes.
What a lot of leaders need to understand is if we want honesty, trust and transparency from our teams, we need to model it and welcome it in the workplace. If staff don’t feel safe to tell us, that’s on us as not being a safe space.
So, if we notice team members are leaving, and it always comes as a shock to us, that is a pretty good sign we're not being the leader we need to be.